The Blonde and The Brunette: These Are Their Stories
by aolurker
Summary: This is a collection of short stories for SVU's Alex/Olivia, mostly written in responses to fic challenges. Fourth one is up (rated PG). First date, talking about Alex's recurring dream...
1. 1: Seeking Solace

**Title:** Seeking Solace  
**Fandom:** SVU, Alex/Olivia  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Words:** ~2300  
**Notes:** Written for the Seeking Solace challenge at cabensonfanficchallenge tumblr  
**Notes 2:** feedback is always appreciated, really. :)

* * *

**Seeking Solace**

It was only Alex's fifth case with the squad.

But it was her first loss.

When the verdict had been read, Alex's stomach bottomed out.

When the mother of the young victim had asked Alex what she was supposed to tell her daughter, Alex had no answer.

When Elliot mumbled a half-hearted platitude of 'We'll get him next time', Alex's heart clenched, realizing that there would **be** a next time.

Because they failed to punish the defendant for **this** time. Because **she** failed to punish him. At least that's how she felt.

Of course, two days earlier when some key evidence had been thrown out, she had taken her frustration on the detectives who had gathered that evidence. She knew that the search had been in good faith and that the detectives had done everything by the book and had done nothing wrong. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't Alex's fault. The defense attorney was just able to technicality-his-way out of it. That was the system.

And, well, sometimes the system sucked.

So she found herself in an empty courtroom, the defendant giving a press conference on the steps outside, a family left in ruins, and at least one of her co-workers still holding a grudge for the unfair dressing down Alex had given her a couple days ago.

Fuck.

Alex had then sequestered herself in her office but that didn't allow her to escape a biting comment or two from her boss. Still, she stayed there until long after quitting time, hoping work would push away the nagging doubts in her head. It didn't. Maybe alcohol would.

She ordered a Cabernet and settled into the bar stool, looking forward to the anonymity and space most bars provided those looking to wallow in self pity. When the wine was delivered and she tried, to pay, however, she was informed that the gentleman at the end had already paid for her drink. She looked up and over at him. He gave her a smile and started heading her way.

No. Just no.

"Never mind," she told the bartender and left.

She didn't feel like trying another bar, and she wasn't one to drink alone. A walk, perhaps; let the sights and sounds of New York sooth her.

It might have worked, too.

If it hadn't started raining.

Hard.

Like hard hard. Pouring. One of those freak New York rains where it's fine one moment and buckets of water are being poured on your head the next.

Fucking of course.

She ducked under an awning. Too late, as her clothes were already soaked through, but at least it gave her a moment to think what to do next. And that's when she realized where she was: about a block from Olivia's apartment.

Alex knew where it was only by chance, really. She'd been there once before; she'd picked the detective up on the way to New Jersey for an extradition hearing one morning.

She hadn't consciously come here. But here she was.

She debated with herself. Part of her wanted to hail a cab and tell it to take her to some random place in Brooklyn, drop her off, and force her to figure out where she was and how to get home.

Part of her wanted to check into a random hotel, screw her 'not one to drink alone' mantra with a bottle of wine, and just hide from the world. But part of her… part of her wanted to walk the last block of this journey.

Part of her wanted to acknowledge to Olivia that she was out of line for giving Olivia a hard time about the search, to apologize for losing the case, to confess that she was not only not used to losing but she was not used to the emotional impact on others her losses had, and to ask the detective how she does it, case in and case out, how she manages to keep going.

Yes, part of her wanted that.

But part of her also just wanted to see the detective.

Part of her wanted the detective to tell her it was going to be okay.

Part of her wanted to be comforted by the detective, with kind words, with a kind look, with maybe even a simple hug.

Part of her wanted that badly.

And she didn't really want to think about why that was.

Right now, she just knew she wanted some solace. Knew she needed some solace. And though she didn't understand yet why, she knew there was one and only one person who could provide it.

She peeked out from under the awning at the sky. It was still raining but not as bad. And besides, it's not like she could get much **more** soaking wet than she already was, anyway, right?

So, decision made, she ducked her head and left the shelter of the awning and headed towards Olivia's.

* * *

Olivia had been sitting on her couch, under a light blanket, reading a book, listening to the rain, trying to find some comfort in the simple things in life. It hadn't been the best of days; hell, it hadn't been the best of weeks. Some quiet down time was definitely called for.

She had just started a new chapter, however, when she was startled out of her peacefulness when the grating sound of her door buzzer sounded in the apartment. She frowned and just waited a moment, not moving from her position. No one she knew was coming over. Whoever it was must have hit her button by accident. She bent her head back down and started reading where she'd left off, but just as she did the buzzer sounded again.

With a minor amount of annoyance, she hoisted herself off the couch mumbling, "Alright, alright, I'm coming, I'm coming," Getting to her front door she hit the talk button, "Yes?"

"Olivia?"

The voice was familiar. It was distinct. But she didn't really believe that it could be who it sounded like.

Olivia must have remained silent just long enough because the voice started speaking again, "It's Alex… Cabot."

Olivia was at a complete loss. The last time she'd spoken with the attorney it hadn't been particularly cordial and she couldn't understand why Alex would be here now; though Lord help the attorney if she came here to yell at Olivia again for the loss today.

So, not really knowing what to say, Olivia simply buzzed the attorney in. She then waited by the door, stewing more and more as the seconds ticked by, her mind getting geared up for another fight, more and more certain that's what this unexpected visit was about.

When Olivia heard the soft knock, she practically threw the door open, ready to meet the attorney with a steely gaze, ready to match whatever guilt trip Alex was ready to literally dump at her doorstep. She was just about to snarl out, "What do you want?" when she actually saw Alex.

And that stopped her short.

For standing in her apartment building hallway was not the Alex she was used to seeing. No.

This one was dripping wet, had matted hair, slumped shoulders, and was shivering.

In a word, the attorney looked pathetic.

All thoughts of fighting left Olivia and instinctive protectiveness took over. "Alex?! What the… good lord, what happened to you?" Olivia reached out and quickly ushered Alex into her apartment, shutting the door behind her. "Are you okay!?"

"I'm… fine," Alex got out, suddenly feeling like this was a bad idea, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

Olivia waved off any apology, interrupting the blonde, "Are you okay?" she asked again, looking into the attorney's face with seriousness and concern.

Alex was a little startled by the intensity in Olivia's expression and it was a stark reminder of the kinds of things the detective dealt with every day. Now Alex felt really bad for showing up at Olivia's door like this. "I'm fine, Olivia, honestly, thank you. Just…" Alex looked down at herself then back up at the detective, "Just a little wet."

Olivia exhaled a bit, relieved nothing was really wrong, and also looked the attorney up and down, "More like completely drenched!" she replied with a rueful smile. "Jeez, wait right here…" Olivia took off in the direction of the bedroom calling over her shoulder, "I'll bring you some towels. Take your jacket off…"

"Olivia you don't have to…" Alex was feeling worse and worse. What had she been thinking when she came here?

"Take your jacket off!" was Olivia's only response to the attorney's protestations.

Alex was a little startled by the order but didn't know what else to do other than what she was told. As she heard the detective rummaging around in a closet somewhere, Alex gingerly removed her jacket, trying not to get too much water everywhere. Olivia returned moments later and handed Alex one towel and wrapped the jacket in the other, taking it to the bathroom and hanging it up over the shower rod to dry. She then returned to the front door.

"Your clothes are drenched, too!" the detective then observed. Olivia just shook her head slightly, "Take your shoes and socks off," she instructed.

"Olivia, no, really, I'm fine, I should go…"

Olivia had no idea why Alex had shown up on her doorstep in the first place, and no idea why she was now trying to leave. However, Olivia *did* know that there must be a reason. And she intended to find out that reason. But that was only secondary to getting Alex dried off and warmed up. "Counselor," Olivia purposefully used Alex's title, "I know you lawyer types like to argue and all, but do me a favor and don't argue with me now, okay?" The detective's words were softened with a small crooked smile.

Alex didn't know this yet, neither of them did, but time would prove that she'd never be able to resist that crooked smile.

The attorney exhaled "Fine," she rewarded the detective with a small sly smile of her own, "But just this one time.

Olivia chuckled, neither of them consciously realizing how easily and naturally they fell into such teasing and banter, but both unconsciously feeling emotionally lightened by it.

Then, with Alex more compliant and in bare feet, Olivia got the attorney into her bathroom with another dry towel as well as a pair of thick socks, some sweatpants, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, and instructions to change out of her wet clothes and into the warm, dry clothes Olivia had provided.

By the time Alex emerged, Olivia had made them coffee and insisted Alex sit down and get under the blanket to help warm up. With little other choice, Alex, again, did as told; gratefully accepting the hot mug when Olivia offered it.

The detective then sat on the other end of the couch and pulled her feet up under her. "So," she started, "What happened tonight?"

Alex knew that was Olivia's way of simply opening the door for Alex. No pressure, no expectations, no accusations. Just 'tell me a story'. And Alex appreciated it.

The attorney looked for several seconds into her coffee cup, trying to think of what to say, trying to think of how to say it. She looked back up at Olivia. "Are they all this hard?" she asked.

Olivia's heart melted a bit. She hadn't thought Alex was as icy as everyone else seemed to believe, but on the other hand, she hadn't yet seen a crack in that cool exterior before. Not until now. "Not all of them," Olivia replied softly.

Alex nodded to herself and looked back into her coffee cup. "Does it get easier?" she then asked quietly.

Olivia considered for several seconds, wishing her response was different, but wanting to be honest. "Not really," she answered.

Alex's head came up; that was not the answer she had expected or hoped for.

Olivia saw the look of distress on Alex's face and that's not really what she had intended. "But you learn to live with it," she continued. "You learn to carve out a piece for yourself. You learn to appreciate the good around you to offset the bed. And when that doesn't work, you learn how to step away when you need to."

Alex swallowed and looked away again, mulling Olivia's words. "Is it worth it?" she finally asked, once again bringing clear blue eyes to meet Olivia's dark brown ones.

They stared at each other for several minutes, the question hanging between them.

Finally Olivia tilted her head just a fraction to the side, "You tell me."

Alex thought. She thought about what it would have felt like to hear 'guilty' rather than 'not guilty'. She thought about how it would feel to finally nail that bastard one day. She thought about all the victims who wouldn't be victims because of the bastards she'd already nailed. She nodded slowly, "Yes it is," she replied to her own question.

"Yes it is," Olivia repeated with a small nod of her own.

Silence descended upon them then for several minutes. Both of them strangely comfortable simply being with the other, strangely comforted. Kindred spirits.

Finally Olivia broke the silence. "Can I ask you… I mean, it's okay, I don't mind, but… why did you come *here* tonight? Why me? Why not… I don't know, Donnelly perhaps?"

It was a fair question. "Honestly, Liv, I don't know," the detective's nickname flowed easily from Alex's tongue, "I just… I just wanted to talk to someone. And I thought you'd understand, better than anyone else."

Olivia smiled a small smile and reached out a hand, laying it on top of Alex's hand briefly, "I'm glad you came," she said quietly, sincerely. Because she *was* glad. Olivia wouldn't have expected it, but it turned out that having Alex here, on her couch, in her apartment, in her space, comforted Olivia probably as much as it comforted Alex.

Alex smiled back, moisture inexplicably gathering in her eyes, "Me, too," she whispered back.


	2. 2: Keeping A Secret (NC-17 M)

**Title: **Keeping a Secret  
**Fandom:** SVU, Alex/Olivia  
**Rating:** M / NC-17  
**Words:** ~3300  
**Notes:** Written for the Keeping A Secret challenge at cabensonfanficchallenge tumblr  
**Notes 2:** feedback is always appreciated, really. :)  
**Notes 3:** I apologize if the editing is quite up to par... I was on a deadline!

* * *

**Keeping A Secret**

"So," Olivia asked Alex as the two women began undressing, discarding their day clothes for more comfortable night clothes, "are you going to tell me what you've been smiling about all evening?" The detective folded up her jeans and set them on top of the dresser as she threw a knowing look over at her girlfriend.

Alex looked up a little surprised (but not that surprised) and tried to feign innocence, "I don't know what you mean."

In just underwear and no bra by this time, Olivia slowly walked, practically stalked over to nearly as naked blonde woman, holding Alex's gaze with her own.

Alex would like to say it was the depth of Olivia's eyes that got her heart racing, or the set of her shoulders and her even the sway of the detective's black boy-shorts covered hips as she walked. And all those things helped. But in the end it was the confidence of this woman before her. Okay and maybe her bare breasts.

And maybe the fact that Alex knew that look on the detective's face.

And knew pleasure of one form or another usually accompanied that look.

Alex swallowed hard as Olivia approached and struggled to maintain eye contact with the detective.

When Olivia reached Alex she stared at her for a moment, searching those blue depths, seeing exactly what she expected. As such, she silently reach around Alex's back to deftly undo the clips holding the attorney's bra together, then pulled the straps forward and down the blonde's arms and off. Tossing the lacy garment absently to the side, she paused to unabashedly look long and appreciatively at the soft pale mounds revealed to her before finally tearing her eyes away and leaning in to give Alex a small kiss on the lips. "I think you do know what I mean," she replied to Alex's almost forgotten protestation of innocence. Olivia slipped her hands around Alex's waist and brought their panty-clad hips together before adding quietly, "You've been keeping a secret from me."

Alex couldn't escape the small sigh that escaped her lips or the small shiver of anticipation that ran through her body as she laced her arms around Olivia's neck and leaned her head forward for another kiss, a kiss Olivia was happy to return, and a kiss that was longer and deeper than the previous one. When it ended, however, Alex put her forehead against Olivia's. "I promised I wouldn't tell," she said quietly.

Olivia pulled her head back enough to look Alex in the eyes, and enough so Alex could see the humor in her own eyes. "Oh, so you concede you *have* been keeping a secret from me?"

Alex raised an eyebrow, seeing and knowing that Olivia was curious, perhaps, but clearly not offended by the fact that Alex had a secret, and what's more, that the detective was clearly willing to be playful about it. "Is this an interrogation?" the blonde matched Olivia's light and playful mood with a sly smile of her own and a twinkle in her eyes, "Because if it is, you should know that you'll never break me."

At the challenge in Alex's words and voice, Olivia cocked her own sculpted eyebrow in return. "Ve haff ways of makink you talk," she replied in a purposefully poor attempt at sounding threatening while at the same time running her fingers lightly up and down Alex's sides, including brushing the sides of the attorney's breasts.

Alex shivered again, goose bumps and unspoken promises being left in the wake of Olivia's teasing fingertips. But through that she managed to set her jaw and jut out her chin overly-obstinately, "I will never talk!" Alex then couldn't help but pause and shiver once again as both of Olivia's hands wandered to Alex's chest and lightly squeezed the attorney's breasts. "No matter how hard you try," she nevertheless managed to complete her previous statement.

"Is that so?" Olivia let her hands wander again down Alex's sides and around to Alex's backside, slipping them under Alex's silky underwear, pushing that underwear over Alex's hips, letting it fall to the ground. She then gave the attorney's now bare ass a light squeeze as she leaned in to grace Alex's long neck with a several kisses.

"Mmmmmmm," Alex hummed low in her throat as her body also began to hum and come more and more alive everywhere Olivia touched and everywhere she knew Olivia would soon touch.

"No matter how hard I try, huh?" Olivia murmured as she more and more seductively ran her fingers across Alex's skin while she also edged the two of them towards their bed, following Alex when the attorney first sat then fell all the way back onto their queen sized mattress.

Skin to skin then from their chests to their hips, Olivia kissed Alex again, long and deep and more and more needy, eyes closed, tongues dueling, lips sliding and gently nipping, breasts pressed against each other, Alex's hands tangling in Olivia's hair, the detective's arms tucked between the mattress and the attorney's shoulders, Alex's legs wrapped around Olivia's waist, Olivia's hips gently rocking into and with Alex's, everything so warm, everything so right, everything so perfect.

Nothing existed in the world in that moment but this togetherness.

And when Olivia finally pulled back, she met Alex's eyes for just a moment and they shared an almost awe-filled look.

Another moment of togetherness.

But only a moment.

For soon the corner of Olivia's lips quirked up as did one of her eyebrows, her original mission remembered: get Alex's secret. "One last chance," she murmured, "Tell me your secret or else..."

Alex returned the challenge, shifting her body under Olivia's, rubbing their skin together more, feeling Olivia's hardened nipples, knowing Olivia could feel hers. "Or else what?"

Olivia brought one her hands up from under Alex, around to her front, between them, capturing one of Alex's breasts and one of those hardened nipples and giving it a light squeeze, "Or else I'll have to find other methods that will break you..." she pretended to threaten.

Alex bit her lip and tilted her pelvis into Olivia's. Because oh gee, oh no, what terrible torture!

Not.

"Do what you must," was Alex's breathy reply when she was finally able to speak, "But I will never tell you."

Olivia gave Alex's breast another squeeze and pushed her own hips into Alex's again. "Very well," she whispered just before leaning down and giving Alex's lips one last quick kiss, "If you're going to be difficult..." And with that Olivia slid a little ways down Alex's body, kissing her way down, kissing first her chin, then down her neck, her upper chest, between her breasts, then moving sideways to Alex's other nipple. She kissed the hard little nubbin, right on its very tip, before taking it into her mouth and sucking, all the while her hand continued to play with Alex's other breast.

And Olivia was in no rush. Both the detective's fingers as well as her lips were gentle, at least initially. Lightly pulling, lightly sucking, lightly squeezing, lightly licking, using her full palm, moving her lips around, giving attention to the whole of Alex's breasts, feeling Alex's hands continue to play in her short hair, feeling Alex move more and more beneath her, hearing Alex's small gasps and moans and hums, the detective enjoying playing with Alex's body almost as much as Alex was enjoying having it played with.

But this was more than just play, of course. This was play with a purpose.

"You ready to tell me your secret...?" Olivia said between kisses.

Alex had expected Olivia to ask that question or a similar one. So she was a little surprised (and perhaps dismayed) at how difficult it was to answer. "N... no," the attorney finally managed to get out with some effort, also shaking her head. Though, of course, she knew Olivia would pick up on the fact that she was having a hard time getting out even a one syllable word.

And Olivia *did* seem to pick up on it, for off of Alex's (expected) continued refusal to speak, Olivia's attentions changed slightly, her tactic changed slightly, becoming less gentle. For the detective knew what worked on the attorney; knew that while Alex enjoyed a tender touch and a slow tease, Alex was also a fan of...intensity.

So Olivia's hand contracted a little harder on Alex's one breast, drawing one gasp from the attorney, and her mouth focused once again on the very tip of Alex's breast, the puckered flesh there, the hardened nub, sealing her mouth around it and sucking hard, drawing a second gasp as well as causing Alex to arch her back into the now twin sensation.

Olivia just smiled to herself as she continued to apply suction to Alex's one nipple while also capturing Alex's other nipple between her thumb and finger and beginning to apply pressure, pressure, painful pressure, wonderfully painful pleasure.

Alex cried out softly.

Off that cry, Olivia let go of the one nipple in her mouth with a small pop, but continued to firmly squeeze Alex's other nipple as she asked quietly but firmly, knowing the very sternness of her voice would have a further effect on the blonde, "Now are you ready to talk, Alex?"

But, despite it all, despite her body's desire to do anything, anything at all Olivia asked, Alex still resisted. Eyes closed tight, the attorney again shook her head.

Olivia silently applied more pressure with her fingers, squeezing tighter.

Alex's gasp this time sounded more like a soft cry as she arched further into the touch, only now hoping it would relieve some of the sensation rather than add to it.

Olivia, listening closely to Alex's moans and cries, modified her tactics again. She maintained her grip, sometimes adding a tug, sometimes adding even more pressure briefly before lessening it to tolerable levels, all the while lightly and surprisingly tenderly suckling at the other nipple, knowing the contrast of rough and gentle would play games with Alex's mind as well as body.

And boy was it.

"In the talking mood yet, baby?" Olivia husked, giving Alex's nipple another small tug.

Another soft cry issued from Alex's lips as the jolt of pain from her nipple shot straight to her core, transforming to warmth, wetness, and pleasure when it got there, which in turn transformed her cry into a soft moan.

Still, she shook her head.

Mildly impressed by now but not wanting to push Alex to the actual breaking point, Olivia then finally released Alex's nipple, running the flat of her palm over it to sooth it.

Alex's body collapsed back onto the mattress in both relief and disappointment as she tried to regain her breath and her senses.

But, probably not surprisingly, Olivia didn't let her rest long, for before Alex really realized what was happening, Olivia was kissing her way down the attorney's body again, much like she had early, but lower, this time stopping to flick her tongue in and out of Alex's perfect navel a few times, before continuing down, kissing the small swell just below that navel, kissing the smooth waxed mound at the top of Alex's junction, then using two fingers, the detective gently parted that mound so she could first kiss then lave her tongue back and forth over Alex's clit.

The attorney's body jumped on its own accord and a somewhat surprised yelp of pleasure escaped the blonde's throat.

Very much liking that response, Olivia licked Alex's clit again drawing another similar response.

God Olivia loved doing this to Alex, for Alex.

And she was just getting started.

The detective smiled a little evilly then as she scooted all the way back off the bed, her knees on the floor, her body settled comfortably between her girlfriend's legs, her head mere inches from Alex's essence. "Hmm, how interesting," she intoned ominously, "I may have found a bit of leverage for my interrogation here…." And to emphasize her point, her 'leverage', Olivia quickly gathered some of the significant moisture she found at Alex's opening, coated her fingers with it, then pushed two of those fingers inside the attorney without further comment or warning.

Alex's reaction was again immediate; her head pushed back into the mattress and her fingers clutched the blankets below her as her internal muscles clamped down on Olivia's invading fingers, Olivia's long, amazing fingers that always fit her so fucking perfectly and always felt so fucking good.

With Alex's hips trying to move with her, Olivia pushed in and pulled out several more times, thrusting in quickly, then more slowly dragging the pads of her fingers firmly along Alex's upper wall on the way out, again enjoying playing with Alex's body, enjoying how it responded to her, enjoying how hot and wet and tight it was for her. And how even tighter it would feel when she inserted a third finger…

"God, Liv!" Alex cried out and arced again at the new intrusion. FUCK that felt good!

Of course, the good feelings came with a cost.

"Yes, baby, I'm listening …," Olivia crooned, "Is there something you want to tell me?" The detective slowly moved her fingers inside Alex, pushing them in as far as she could, widening Alex opening, stretching delicate flesh so gloriously, right up to but just short of the point of discomfort, stopping instead at height of pleasure.

"Yes! Liv, yes! … No… I mean…no!" Alex was struggling to figure out how to respond to both Olivia's verbal and physical assault on her senses, "I mean…"

Olivia didn't wait for Alex to figure out what she meant or what she was wanting to say, instead deciding to just pushing the attorney further by lowering her head to Alex's center, and once again using her tongue to pleasure Alex's center, licking the attorney from her own buried fingers, up, up the length of Alex's pussy, the detective using the tip of her tongue to tease both inner and outer folds, before finally arriving and Alex's top, and again using the tip of her tongue, this time to swirl and twirl and circle Alex's clit.

Laying on her back, legs up in the air, bent, spread, open, completely open, one hand going once again to tangle in Olivia's hair, the other hand going to her own breast, Alex was just about out of her mind, barely able to even process the pure pleasure radiating from her core.

"Olivia… Liv please," she practically begged.

Olivia could tell Alex was getting close, getting desperate. And she had every intention of delivering…but not before just a little more teasing. The detective gently pulled out and pushed in again, and again laved the flat of her tongue and then the very tip of her tongue over Alex's peak before speaking, taunting, "Tell me Alex, tell me your secret…"

"Liv…" Alex practically wined, her body so primed, her pussy so primed, so on fire, her clit so aching, so aching, GOD, so aching! "Liv…"

Olivia pushed, eased her three fingers in just that much further, stretching Alex just that much further and then just held them there while flicking her tongue back and forth over that so very needy bundle of nerves. "Last chance, Alex," Olivia pretended to threaten, though both of them knew it was an empty threat.

"I…. FUCK!" Alex reacted to Olivia flicking her tongue firmly across her clit once again. "I can't…" she finally managed to breath out after several seconds.

And that was enough. "Yeah, I know you can't, sweetie," Olivia responded gently, "And I think I love you even more because of it," she added. And it was true. Alex was a good friend. An amazing friend. A trustworthy and just plain *worthy* friend. And if she made a promise not to tell something, Olivia certainly wasn't going to make her break that promise, had never really intended to try to get her to break that promise.

And that was something they both knew from the start.

So the detective lowered her head one last time, determined to fulfill her own promise, a promise of pleasure. So very gently moving her fingers within Alex while using her mouth to focus on Alex's clit, Olivia sucked and flicked and licked and did whatever was required for however long it was required to bring Alex off.

Perhaps not surprisingly, it didn't take long.

For with just a few more licks, a bit more pressure on Alex's upper wall, a few more seconds of gentle suckling, and Alex was bucking under Olivia, her inner muscles clamping down hard, so fucking hard on Olivia's invading fingers, her own hand squeezing her own tenderized breast, her other hand gripping Olivia's hair almost painfully, her whole body thrashing as her vocal chords gave screaming outlet for her pleasure as that pleasure washed over and through her in wave after glorious wave, each flick of Olivia's tongue keeping it going, drawing it out.

Until Alex finally collapsed back to mattress, mostly spent but still twitching with the occasional aftershock, catching her breath, coming back to herself, only barely aware of Olivia kissing her way the length of her body, this time kissing her way upwards rather than downwards.

When Olivia drew even with her, the detective drew the attorney into a deep, affectionate, but also passionate kiss, the soft cotton still covering Olivia's core harsh but pleasurably so on Alex's sensitized center, the detective's breasts heaving against her own, and the detective's tongue invading her mouth carrying on it her own taste.

In that moment, post coital, post bliss, Alex couldn't be more content.

When the kiss finally ended, Olivia pulled back far enough to look tenderly once again at Alex. She ran a finger down Alex's cheek. She smiled at her.

Alex smiled back, for several seconds, letting the moment linger. She then let her eyes drift shut and then back open as she lazily said, again tipping her hand to the knowledge that this had all just been a fun game, "If I'd known keeping a secret from you would be that fantastic, I would have done it sooner!"

Olivia laughed quietly, accepting the compliment. She then placed another quick kiss on Alex's lips before beginning to extract herself from the attorney's limbs and getting up so the two of them could get cleaned up and into bed for the night.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"By the way," Alex said several minutes later after they'd finally found their way under the blankets, "We have lunch plans for tomorrow."

Olivia noticed that the same kind of small smile Alex had been sporting all evening was back on her face. It made the detective in her wonder if the 'lunch plans' and the 'secret' were related. And she was just about to ask… but decided not to. "Okay," she answered simply.

Alex just smiled again, appreciating Olivia not asking. Because, in fact, the lunch and the secret *were* related; they were meeting Serena and Abbie for lunch; the two had just gotten engaged. Serena had told Alex but Abbie wanted to be the one to tell Olivia. So Alex had promised Serena she'd keep it under wraps for a day.

Alex started giggling then and even blushed a little, thinking how Olivia would be both happy and surprised when she was told tomorrow, then thinking how Abbie would ask the detective if her surprise was genuine or if Alex had spilled the beans to her already, and then thinking how Olivia would look at Alex and then back at Abbie and say that no Alex had NOT spilled the beans, but it wasn't for lack of effort on Olivia's part!


	3. 3: Somewhere To Be

**Title: **Somewhere To Be  
**Fandom:** SVU, Alex/Olivia  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** Short! (~510 words)  
**Notes:** I'm usually so into the fluff….but instead this turned out rather angsty. Perhaps the fluff monster will strike tomorrow…

* * *

**3: Somewhere To Be**

As they were gathering their things and cleaning up, getting ready to head the Hamptons and Alex's parents' house for dinner, Alex looked sidelong at Olivia. The detective had been getting more and more withdrawn and introspective throughout the day. And Alex finally decided she needed to say something about it. "You okay, Liv?" she asked.

Olivia glanced up and over at the blonde. "Yeah, sure," the detective smiled, though Alex could tell it was a forced one, then went back to putting any last dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Well, that just wasn't going to do.

Alex came over and stood in front of Olivia. She silently put her arms around the detective's waist before leaning in and giving Olivia a light kiss on the lips. "Talk to me, baby," she said simply.

Olivia stared into Alex's eyes for several seconds before looking down and letting out a breath. She remained silent.

Alex just waited her out. Patient. Open.

Finally Olivia looked back up and began to talk. "I guess I'm just not used to all this." Olivia's gesture encompassed the whole of their day: making love when they woke up that morning, giddily exchanging gifts, having a leisurely breakfast in their jammies, prepping to head to a big Cabot holiday dinner. The general feeling relaxation, the feeling of well-being, of togetherness.

Of joy.

Of, dare she say, family.

"I've always worked on Christmas, you know?" the detective continued, "This is probably the first one I haven't worked at one job or another since I was in college."

Alex again just waited, knowing there was more. Knowing this was just the beginning.

Olivia started speaking again, "I didn't mind. I really didn't. It meant someone else didn't have to work." Olivia looked down again as her voice dropped a bit, "But I guess it also meant I didn't have to face the fact that I really had nowhere else to be."

Alex's heart ached a little bit. She knew of Olivia's past. Generally, at least. But Olivia didn't like to talk about it much. So she didn't know details.

But the details, at least right now, were not important.

Alex brought her hands up and cupped Olivia's face in them. "You have somewhere to be now," she said looking deep into Olivia's brown depths.

Olivia could feel the moisture gathering in her eyes. "I know," she whispered.

And Olivia did know. And she was so very grateful for it. But it was going to take some getting used to. And it was going to force her to reconcile with her past. For no matter how happy she was today, the pain of yesterday wasn't going to disappear overnight.

Alex knew that, too. And she accepted it. She accepted Olivia.

She loved Olivia.

And she was all that much more determined to help Olivia, every day, build the kind of memories she deserved to have.

Alex leaned in one more time and gave Olivia another kiss, sweet, lingering, tender. Then she just wrapped her arms around her and hugged her. Hugged her tight.


	4. 4: Dreams

**Title: **Dreams  
**Fandom:** SVU Alex/Olivia  
**Rating:** PG/PG13-ish  
**Summary:** First date (aww), Alex talks about a recurring dream  
**Notes:** written for the cabensonfanficchallenge on tumblr, whee!

* * *

**Alex's Dream**

"I have this recurring dream," Alex said while looking off at nothing in particular, her attention clearly focusing inward.

"Let me guess: you're arguing a case naked?" Olivia interrupted with a teasing question.

Alex's eyes refocused briefly on Olivia. "No," the attorney answered as she chuckled softly at the detective's question, "I've never had the dream that so many other lawyers apparently have where I'm naked in the courtroom." Alex paused for a moment, again in thought. "Well," she amended her previous statement, "I've never had a dream where I argued a case naked, at least."

Olivia immediately recognizing the difference, the nuance in Alex's answers, and raised her eyebrow good-naturedly but suggestively at the blonde.

Alex blushed more than a little and cleared her throat as she took a sip of water, her reactions only solidifying in Olivia's mind that someday she'd have to ask about those 'naked-but-not-arguing-a-case' dreams…. But now, on only their first real date, was not quite the right time. So, Olivia waived a hand to dismiss that part of the conversation, "I'm sorry, I interrupted you," she said, "You were saying you had a recurring dream?"

Alex took a bite of the lasagna she had ordered, giving her time to get her composure back, and nodded to Olivia. She wiped her mouth on her napkin and picked up where she'd left off. "Yes. It's... not a pleasant dream, really. I suppose it might even be considered a nightmare. I'm…" Alex got that far off look again before she resumed speaking, "I'm being chased, usually. Or at least trying to get away. I don't know what's after me. I never really see it. It's almost just an amorphous darkness, really. And when I try to run I can't because it's like my legs are in molasses. So I stop and turn around and try to confront it or scream at it. But my voice doesn't work. My screams just come out as whispers."

Olivia had gotten serious with the turn Alex's monologue had taken, "That sounds terrifying," she said quietly, sincerely.

Alex nodded again and took a sip of water, "It is. And it was especially so when I was a kid. Not being able to run, not being able to yell for help…" Alex trailed off. But then the attorney unexpectedly smiled. And she continued to smile as she recounted her memory to Olivia, "When I would wake up from one of these dreams, I used to grab one of the stuffed animals I was sleeping with and have *it* tell the scary darkness to go away," she looked up at Olivia, still with that same smile, "My Boo Bear was *always* able to talk. And, of course, he was very good at putting the bad guys in their place."

Olivia chuckled, imagining a frightened but still precocious 4 or 5 year old Alex holding up a stuffed teddy bear into the darkness and emptiness of her bedroom and having it say, "Go away, you bad things!" To Alex she then asked, "So you've had this dream for a long time."

Alex nodded, "Ever since I can remember. I'm not sure where it originated but it's always been there. Through elementary school, and all through my teens. Fortunately, Stanley got less scary through the years but…"

"Stanley?" Olivia interrupted.

"Hm?" Alex asked, not having expected to be interrupted and not entirely sure what Olivia had asked.

"You said, 'Stanley got less scary through the years'," Olivia explained her question, "Who is Stanley?"

Alex put her face in her hands and she blushed again, "Oh my god, I can't believe I said that," she muttered into her hands.

Olivia frowned, truly confused. "Why? Who is Stanley?" the detective asked again.

Alex shook her head even as it was buried in her hands. But she did lift her head up, finally, and on her lips was an embarrassed smile. "'Stanley'," she then said matter-of-factly, is the name that I gave 'the darkness' in my dream."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, trying to keep from laughing.

"Go ahead, laugh," Alex said almost as if reading Olivia's mind, "I mean, I really haven't told many people about this dream to begin with and I certainly have never told anyone I named it Stanley. For obvious reasons," she shared a small laugh with Olivia.

"Well," Alex again amended her previous statement, "Except my Nona. In fact, it was my Nona that suggested the name." Alex began smiling again, obviously the memories turning pleasant. "I told her about my dream once and she suggested I give the bad things in it a name that I wasn't afraid of. So I chose Stanley," Alex again began to chuckle, "I'm not sure why,"

"Go, Nona," Olivia said with her own amusement as well as admiration. "So did it work? Giving it a non-scary name?"

Alex considered the question and grew serious before nodding once again. "Yes, I think it did. Just putting a name—any name—on something helps. Makes it less 'unknown', you know?"

Olivia, like Alex, sobered. Because she did know that. She knew all too well, "Yes," she agreed.

Both women were silent for a bit as Olivia took a bite of her dinner and Alex took a sip of wine. Both allowing themselves to back away from the moment. Their brief quiet was interrupted, however, by a bark of laughter – again unexpected – from Alex as she set her glass back down and again buried her hands in her face.

Olivia couldn't contain her own smile at Alex's obvious mirth and continued embarrassment, "What?" Olivia prompted.

"Well," Alex chuckled again, "I guess one other person knows about Stanley. At least sort of."

Olivia raised her eyebrow again, this time as an invitation for Alex to continue.

"College. No. Law school. Second year." Alex corrected herself. "It was finals week. God, it was brutal! I had two *huge* exams the next day and this dang dream woke me up in the dead of night. I sat bolt upright in bed," Alex shook her head over the memory and even shivered unconsciously.

"I knew the dream must have had me in its grip for a good while," Alex continued, "because I was covered in sweat when I woke up and my heart was pounding." The attorney paused to take a sip of water before continuing. "When I finally got my bearings, when I finally realized it was just this same ol' dream and I was fine, I muttered to myself, in all seriousness, 'God, Stanley, I am not in the mood tonight.'"

Alex then looked over at Olivia with an amused twinkle in her eye as she finished this portion of her story, "As it turns out, my girlfriend at the time, who was in bed next to me, wasn't too thrilled I was dreaming about a 'Stanley' or telling him I 'wasn't in the mood'."

Olivia's covered her mouth which had fallen open in a silent, 'Oh my god.' "Oh, no," the detective said in sympathy.

Alex nodded, but was smiling again, "Oh, yes. And I was too tired to try to explain. Besides, frankly, I don't think she would have believed me even if I had tried to explain." Alex shrugged, "She and I weren't destined to last much longer anyway, that just hastened it."

"Ouch," Olivia said again in sympathy, but also as she chuckled along with Alex, who again just shrugged.

After their light laughter had died down, Olivia ventured another question. "So," she said before taking a quick sip of her own wine, "Do you still have the dream?"

Alex slowly chewed the bite of food she had taken as she thought about it. She frowned as she swallowed and began shaking her head. "Actually, you know what?" she asked rhetorically as she looked again over at Olivia, "Now that I think about it, I haven't had that dream since I've been with SVU."

Olivia cocked her head to the side, silent, but interested.

"I haven't been here that long, granted," Alex continued, "But still, it's… well I guess it's kind of surprising that I haven't had the dream, especially considering the cases."

Olivia nodded in agreement. That was a bit surprising.

"Though…" Alex paused and her attention again turned internal, "No, never mind," the attorney then said, shaking her head and using her hand to literally wave off whatever it was she was going to say.

"Aww, tell me," Olivia prodded, though not aggressively, truly wanting to hear what Alex was going to say, but also perfectly willing to let it go if Alex really didn't want to say it.

Alex waffled a bit, "It's so melodramatic."

"I like melodrama," Olivia gave Alex another little prod with a smile.

"Well, my Nona… she always said that the dream would stop when I found my voice. And maybe," Alex shrugged self-deprecatingly, "Maybe she was right. Maybe at SVU I'm getting closer to that." Alex looked down, a little embarrassed, perhaps, at how honest and vulnerable her admission was.

Olivia's heart ached a little bit, recognizing that honesty and vulnerability. And while it was a little melodramatic, perhaps, Olivia wasn't going to tease Alex for it. Instead, the detective reached out and covered one of Alex's hands with her own. She smiled gently at the attorney, "I like that idea," she said softly.

Alex lifted her head and met Olivia's eyes. And just smiled back.

* * *

**Olivia's Dream**

A silence settled between them then. Not uncomfortable, but just a segue to the next topic of conversation.

And, honestly, Olivia couldn't wait to find out what that next topic might be.

For there was so much to follow up on: 'Boo Bear', for instance, where did that name come from? And Alex's apparently great relationship with her 'Nona', who sounded like an incredible woman. And the sheer whimsy of calling a nightmare 'Stanley', especially since 'whimsy' isn't exactly a word often used when talking about Alex. And the hint of past relationships with other women. And, of course, the nakedy courtroom dream that made Alex blush so. And, more seriously, the idea that Alex feels like SVU is where she might be 'finding her voice'.

And so, so much more.

So much more of Alex to hear about and learn about and find out about.

So much more of Alex to get to know.

Olivia suddenly felt nervous. Felt giddy. Felt butterflies. Felt apprehension. Felt all of it.

Because she was already excited and looking forward to hearing about, learning about, and finding out about it all.

God, she wanted to get to know Alex. Know everything about her. Inside and out.

And she could only hope, only dream, that Alex felt the same.

Fortunately, judging by the look in the attorney's eyes and the fact that she had already told Olivia things she'd never told anyone else, it was pretty certain that Alex did.


End file.
